What We say, How We Say It, and Why We Say It- Part 1


In our role, we have the privilege of hearing what many other people don't. This is why it is so important that we understand the impact of what we say.

To Our Boss:

My boss receives a lot of opinions, comments, ideas, and questions from people throughout the day. I do my best to remember that in my conversations with him. When we have the opportunity to meet whether about emails, tasks or appointments, I want to use that time wisely. As an assistant, I hope to be a sounding board where he can share his vision, ideas, and goals. For me, it is just as important what I DON’T say as what I DO say. If he asks for my opinion or advice, I am humbled to share (see “WHY you say it”- coming soon), but otherwise I believe my role is to support his vision, not add suggestions to it. 

To Others:

As mentioned above, our role lands us in conversations that others may never know. For this reason, we must always proceed with humility and caution. CONFIDENTIALITY is one of the greatest attributes of a strong assistant. Our leaders need to know that they can trust us with closed-door conversations and that they won’t end up at the water cooler, on a group text, or in a newspaper article.

We need to be aware of what we say, not only with regards to confidentiality but representation. The words we use reflect us as people, but they also reflect the leaders we serve. Our conversations should encourage others, challenge in order to grow, or confront only with the purpose of reconciliation.

It is so important that our words are sincere, genuine, personal, and kind. This is especially easy in emails and texts when we forget that on the other end is a person with a challenging day, a difficult season, or a specific need.


Ephesians 4:29 reminds us to “let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” I want to give grace every day with whomever I speak.


Your Turn: How do you control what you say?