Agonizing over the "First Post"- Option 3

Last April, when God put this blog on my heart, I was fired up about it. I told everyone I could about this vision. As I continued to talk about it, the dream grew more and more daunting and I grew more overwhelmed. This would be work, time, and energy to write a blog for assistants. I felt nauseous and inadequate.

After being reluctant (or lazy... let me just call it what it was) I had a "conditional compromise", and told God that if He really wanted me to come alongside other assistants, He would need to make it painfully He did!

As I faithfully took steps forward writing blog posts, He sent God-winks in the way of assistants reaching out, despite my insecurity, because His heart is to UNITE and ENCOURAGE others. Week after week, I would get emails/texts like these:

"Maybe when we visit you could share with me any tips that you have learned along the way in assisting.  This is my first ‘go’ at this and I’m certainly willing to learn how others do it." 

"I am helping with admin stuff and wanted to see if we could meet"

"I hope you are well. I was wondering if you would mind to send me a link to the blog you spoke of. I would love to follow it."

The purpose for this blog was clear. We assistants need one another to share ideas and grow together. I am overwhelmed and under qualified, but incredibly honored. God, whatever you want to do with this thing, it's Your vision.

Still after all that, I was nervous about sharing it with the "world" (of social media). It was not "social media ready"- there was no graphic, no subscription bar, and honestly who will actually read it? Sharing things publicly creates accountability. What if people started reading this? Then I would have to keep up with the blog. What if no one reads it? Then it's just a journal of what I have learned. What if.... these questions drove me crazy. But day after day I would read posts like these:

Why we need you to be brave  -Jon Acuff

Maybe like me, you find yourself today in one of two places: God is starting to do something with you, things are happening, doors are opening, He's showing up, but you're scared, because He's becoming more visible through you and doing bigger things in you than you'd ever do alone. You're fearing the greatness and shrinking back. Or... the kindling is there, the fire is small, you know there's something burning in your soul, - Jennie Allen

Does fear impact what type of leader you are? Is fear hindering you from pursuing your God-given passions, purpose, and potential? The best leaders stare fear, uncertainty, and discomfort in the face! - Propel Women

Finally, the last straw came outside Walmart. As my daughter and I were loading our car after the weekly grocery trip, she asked me about some music she heard. It was a man playing a saxophone in the parking lot. I had heard him every weekly shopping trip for the last month, but this was the first time the chords struck me differently. I didn't feel pity for him, but instead was proud of him. The Walmart parking lot is no Civic Center, but this man was using his God-given gifts to bless people. Regardless of the environment, he was making music and a sweet sound for others. He was DOING it, while others were sitting in their homes that Saturday morning only DREAMING about it. And that convicted me.

I don't know what God is speaking to you, but He desires you step out and try something for Him. He has blessed you with gifts to benefit others. Whether on the mission field or in the marketplace, sending emails or speaking at conferences, you have the opportunity to do what others dream about. You can doubt or question or talk the dream to death, but if you don't actually move forward with it, others don't get to enjoy it!

And for all of you (you know, or maybe you don't know, who you are) who have encouraged, convicted, emailed, or asked me about this dream God has placed on my heart, thank you for reminding me that it is by Him, through Him and for Him.

It's time to put your dream out there, and see what God wants to do. There are others that need encouragement.

Wherever God puts you, make music.


Your turn: What is God calling you to step out and try? What are your excuses?